


Keith the Vampire

by AnimeLover200013



Series: Klance Fanfics [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allergies, His children are so problematic, Keith is a vampire (not really), Lance panics, M/M, Shiro just wants to eat dinner, bad vampire jokes, then thinks it's pretty funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:26:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeLover200013/pseuds/AnimeLover200013
Summary: Keith didn't think Space Garlic existed, and definitely didn't think it would be in his food goo. Unfortunately, not only does it exist, it found its way into his food goo. Oops.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is the first fanfic I've written that didn't have super angsty themes. Yaaaaay.

Later, everyone would ask Keith, why hadn’t he told them? The answer was simple, really. Why, in the entire universe, would Keith guess there would be a space equivalent of garlic present on their ship, and why would he think it would have found its way into his food goo?

It had all started with a normal dinner. The five paladins and their two alien companions were gathered around their dining room table, chatting among themselves and sharing comments on their days. Shiro was talking to Allura and Coran, a gentle, almost tranquil smile on his face. It was one of those rare moments where the Black Paladin was able to really, totally relax, his shoulders dropping from their usually tense state and the tired look in his eyes easing a bit. 

Pidge sat beside Shiro, tapping away on a discrete tablet hidden beneath the table while simultaneously tracking and adding to Shiro, Allura, and Coran’s conversation. The Green Paladin would turn to poke at the red and blue duo beside her, living for the way Lance would puff up when teased.

Keith and Lance, on the surface, were sharing their usual moments. Keith would make a snide comment, whether it was about Lance’s piloting for the day or the hand-to-hand combat they shared. As per usual, Lance would rise to the goading, pushing himself into the Red Paladin’s space in order to bite back similar insults, neck flushing. It didn’t take a genius to notice the way their insults didn’t cut like they used to or to see the way the duo’s hands and thighs brushed when they thought no one was looking. 

When Hunk came in with a trolley loaded with food goo, everyone’s chatter died off into cries of joy and thanks. Hunk puffed out his chest, handing out plates before taking his seat. 

“I hope you guys really enjoy this batch,” the Yellow Paladin grinned, “it took some finesse and some extra special twists, but I think I finally got it.” Hunk’s eyes glittered with pride as the team all picked up their spoons.

Shiro was the first to dig in, lifting the mystery goo to his lips and taking a spoon full into his mouth. He chewed for a second, taking a few seconds to truly test the taste. His eyes widened and Hunk tensed in anticipation. 

“This is amazing, Hunk!” Shiro swallowed his mouth full before taking another bite. The others readily went for their food, each taking their first bites with excitement. 

“Holy crow, Hunk! This tastes just like the spaghetti my mom used to make us!” Lance practically vibrated with excitement, shoving goo into his mouth before leaning back and sighing in bliss. 

“Oh, thank God,” Hunk sagged in relief, “I was so worried I wouldn’t have remembered the taste right, but I didn’t want to go to you and ruin the surprise. I’m so glad it worked though, cause if I spent another week working on this, I think I would have ruined it with my tears.” Hunk took his own bowl and took a taste, eyes misting over, “I’m so glad I got it right.”

“What is ‘spaghetti?’” Allura asked, mulling over the foreign taste. 

“Oh, it’s pasta--wait do Alteans have pasta? They do? Okay, thank God. Anyway, it’s pasta with some tomato sauce on it, usually some meatballs--which was a really hard taste to get in there, by the way--and some Parmesan cheese, usually.”

“‘Parmesan cheese?’” Shiro fielded that one, taking the time to carefully explain each of the ingredients of spaghetti while Hunk chattered away with Pidge about the chemical processes of getting the food goo to taste _just right_. 

“Hey, Hunk,” Keith cleared his throat a bit, “did you put garlic in this by any chance?”

“Oh, that was the finesse I was talking about. Do you remember that planet we visited a few days back? With all of the vegetables and stuff growing out of the walls? Well, turns out that they had a root that tastes _just like garlic_. Crazy, right?” Keith's eyes widened a bit at Hunk’s words, before his eyes darted to the skin of his hands. 

“Holy crow, Keith, what’s up with your face?” Lance cried from their side of the table. All conversation stopped and everyone turned towards Keith. The Red Paladin was staring at his hands with mounting horror, before he choked out, “I’m allergic to garlic.” Shiro was up and moving within the second, shoulders squared back and one hundred percent the leader he needed to be. Allura was right behind him, approaching Keith and grasping his hands, looking closely at the hives that had begun to break out along his skin. 

“Shouldn’t we take him to the healing pods or something,” Lance was wrapping his arms around Keith’s shoulders, forcing the wheezing and coughing paladin to his feet. 

“It won’t work,” Allura shook her head, “Alteans weren’t exposed to these ‘allergies.’ The healing pods haven’t been programmed to treat this.”

“Wait a second,” Pidge gasped, “I have an EpiPen in my room.” Before any of the others could respond, the Green Paladin was sprinting out of the room, tearing down the hallways and break-neck speed.

“Keith, buddy,” Shiro forced Keith to look him in the eyes, “I need you to try to breathe for me. In, and out. I know it’s hard, but Pidge will be back soon, so in the meantime you need to try to keep calm.” Keith struggled to do as Shiro asked, closing his eyes and trying to even his breathing. Lance squeezed the other boy’s shoulders, trying not to let on how panicked and afraid he was for Keith’s sake. 

By the time Pidge returned, Keith’s breathing had devolved into whistling breaths and hacking coughs. 

“Move!” Pidge ordered, shouldering passed Allura and uncapping the EpiPen in her hands. Without further ado, she slammed the needle into the middle Red Paladin’s thigh. Keith stiffened for a moment, before he began to take large, gulping breaths. After a few seconds, Pidge removed the needle and set it aside, grasping Keith’s arms. Keith slowly began to relax as breathing became easier, his throat loosening and his lungs no longer aching. 

“Thanks,” he finally managed, voice hoarse and wispy. 

“Oh my god, dude, I’m so sorry,” Hunk apologized, eyes wide and panicked. 

“Hunk, it’s okay,” Keith smiled weakly at him, “you didn’t know I was allergic.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Lance demanded, unwrapping himself from his boyfriend’s body and placing his hands on his hips. 

“I didn’t think, of all the things I would have to worry about fighting aliens in giant, robot lions, my garlic allergy would be one of them. I didn’t even know there was a space equivalent to garlic.” 

“You could have died! What if Pidge didn’t have an EpiPen?” Lance demanded, before pausing, “why do you have those, anyway.”

“I’m allergic to peanut butter,” Pidge shrugged, squeezing Keith’s wrists once before stepping back, allowing her friend to collapse back into his seat.

“Wha--but you eat peanut butter all the time!”

“Why do you think I have EpiPens?” Shiro looked as if he was going to enter a nervous breakdown as new dangers were suddenly being presented to him at rapid fire speed. Two of his team members were allergic to different food types, and hadn’t even bothered to mention it. 

“Once you’ve settled a bit,” Allura said, “I’d like to take blood samples from both of you. I wish to see if we could program the healing pods to be able to treat these allergies so we can avoid future situations like these.” Keith and Pidge both nodded their consent, and after Hunk apologized once more (“Really Hunk, it’s not your fault. I’m okay”), Shiro double checked on him one more time and gave a rather thorough lecture on telling his teammates about these kinds of things, and Allura and Coran had filtered out, Lance plopped down in his seat beside Keith. Silence surrounded them, before Lance shuffled his chair a bit closer. 

“You're impossibly fast, and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. Your eyes change color, and sometimes you speak like--like you're from a different time. You never eat or drink anything. You don't go out in the sunlight…”

“Lance, I swear to God,” Keith warned, tensing as his boyfriend moved closer. 

“I know what you are,” Lance continued, fluttering his eyelashes. 

“Lance, do _not_ \--”

“Vampire,” Lance whispered, pressing his lips to Keith’s ear. Keith jerked away from the Blue Paladin, shoving at the other’s shoulder and rubbing his ear. 

“I hate you,” Keith grumbled. 

“I love you, too,” Lance grinned, wrapping his arms around Keith’s waist and resting his head on the other’s shoulder, “but seriously, if you do something like that again, I’m filing for a divorce.”

“We’re not married!” Keith cried. Lance clutched at his chest in mock hurt, “I can’t believe you! So cruel!”

“I’m leaving,” Keith grumbled, shouldering away from Lance and turning to flee from the room, but before he could leave, Lance grabbed his wrist. 

“Is there room for two in your coffin,” Lance wiggled his eyebrows and winked. Keith stared at him for a full minute before pulling away his hand and leaving the room, ignoring his lover’s cries outside of the locked door to their shared room.


End file.
